Today is my wife and my 15th wedding anniversary. Many people have congratulated us today on reaching this “milestone” in our relationship as if in some way 15 years is somehow magical.
The time we have spent together in years isn’t magic, but what God has performed in our lives during this time however is. Each and everyday we learn from each other, we pray for each other and we hold each other accountable. When we were first married we were focused on the “fun” of playing house and being married, but as all couples eventually find, reality sets in and as much as we hated to admit it, neither of us was the perfect person we thought we were. The hard times came and we had to make hard choices. Choices to love each other when we were unlovable. Choices to support one another when we didn’t 100% agree with the decision being made. Choices to stand by each other no matter what.
The basis of this for us came from scripture. 1 Peter 3:1-8 says:
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves.They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. 8 Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.
It doesn’t say love each other when we are lovable, but rather respect and love each other at all times. This was a hard pill for us to swallow many years ago and I thank God frequently for how he has allowed us to grow.
We have focused on being what we feel Peter meant in verse 3, more focused on working on our inner beauty and less focused on what the world thinks of us. In the end, the world won’t matter, only our relationship with God.
My wife and I have said many times how lucky we feel that we are each other’s best friend. I cannot say how much I value that exact component of our relationship. Our friendship is deep and is the thing that ties us together. We rely on it in the hard times and relish in it during the good times. I would encourage everyone who is getting married to do what I did and marry your best friend! in fact, our wedding invitations, 15 years ago, said it all:
” Today I marry my best friend. The one I live with, laugh with, love.”
An Ordinary Methodist 